Teens are yet again set upon by an evil murderer in the fifth pseudo-parody in the puerile franchise. This time starring Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen.

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After the death of his brother, Dan (Simon Rex) and Jodie (Ashley Tisdale) inherit his three children, found by Snoop Dogg (apparently before his upgrade to Snoop Lion) in an isolated cabin in the woods, where they lived with their ghost mama. Dan, a scientist who works with monkeys, and Jodie, an aspiring ballerina preparing for her role as the Black Swan, move with the kids and their undead mother into a house besieged by paranormal activity.

Scary Movie 5 starts with the bed scene between Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen, the subject of much hype prior to its opening. But instead of amusing audiences with self-deprecating gags, the two sources of tabloid fodder only manage antiquated, Benny Hill-style slapstick. It doesn't get any better from there, as the movie plays with tired clichés – such as Snoop Dog dragging a huge joint through the forest. Many of the movies parodied – such as Black Swan and Rise of the Planet of the Apes* – are pretty much too old to be the source of any kind of humor.